Today I decided to show the often berated redheads of the world (I’m looking at you Kevin) some love. I’m just a nice guy like that. So I have compiled a list (in no particular order) of some of the most famous redheads in comic books. Sit back and enjoy the show.

10. Poison Ivy

Oh Pamela Isley, you are one vivacious redhead. One of Batman’s most famous villains and arguably the best seductress in comic book history, Poison Ivy definitely deserves to be on this list.

9. The Black Widow

The Black Widow AKA Natalia Romanova AKA Natasha Romanoff is a Russian spy extraordinaire. She has one fiery attitude and manages to keep up with members of the Avengers despite her lack of any real super powers. She is just highly trained and highly lethal.

8. Carnage

Everybody pictures Venom as a mentally unstable villain, but Cletus Kasady took it to a whole other level. Cletus was insane before he bonded with the symbiote, and after getting all that new power he set out on a rampage. This is definitely one of the toughest villains Spider-Man has ever tangled with.

7. Daredevil

Matt Murdock is a lawyer by day and crime fighter by night. And he’s blind. It takes a pretty impressive guy to pull this off. Be proud red heads of the world, another badass is added to your ranks.

6. Medusa

Of course the person who uses their actual hair as a weapon is red head. Plus she would make a great hair model, no stylists necessary.

5. Jimmy Olsen

Superman’s pal has had more adventures than most in comic books. Throughout the years he has foiled assassination plots, rescued damsels in distress, and had almost as many powers as Superman (at least temporarily). Not bad for a newspaper photographer.

4. The Flash

Wally West is the Fastest Man Alive, sharing his record with redheads everywhere. He was also the first Kid Flash, showing that with a little work, luck, and Speed Force, you too can become an iconic superhero someday.

3. Batwoman

Not only is Batwoman a redhead but also a lesbian. Oh, and she fights crime or something. This is possibly DC’s best attempt at making a hero with public relations as their super power.

2. Jean Grey

Quite possibly the most powerful mutant alive, this one lady you don’t want to mess with. Yet she is often the vocal conscience of the X-Men, except for those times when she turns into the Phoenix and tries to destroy everything. If only she could get over that whole dying thing she would be the complete package.

1. Mary Jane Watson

Spider-Man’s former wife (damn you One More Day storyline) has become an icon in comic books. She is the poster girl for drop dead gorgeous redheads and it’s not hard to see why. Her feisty attitude and great hair have found her a place in every comic fan’s heart.

And there you have it; redheads have made quite an impact on comics. And I have done my good deed for the day.

-        Gonzo

As I get ready to move into a new home, decorations have been on my mind. I really want some comic book art to hang on my walls, but not like those posters marvel puts out. I would like some original sketches, fan-mad posters and statuettes so I feel classy. That’s really all that’s on my mind today so here are some examples of the kind of stuff I’m looking for. If you have any ideas on where I can get this kind of stuff let me know (or if you make this kind of stuff even better). Any other suggestions for comic themed decorations?

-        Gonzo

First off I’d like to say thanks to What Would Batman Do for the nice shout out today. Now that I’ve gotten the pleasantries out of the way it’s time to get on to today’s topic! The various ways Superman has used his x-ray vision! Seeing as this blog is named after that particular power we might as well take a look at how handy it is.

He has used it to be a dentist. Yes, Superman has super-dentistry powers.

He has used it to discover secret identities. That is kind of a dick move Superman.

He has used it to discover criminals for Batman to beat up. You are a lazy hero Superman.

He has watched a gorilla use it to melt a safe.

Wait, what? I will admit that I am simply a marine biologist, not a primatologist or astrophysicist, but I am fairly certain that is not how x-ray vision works. Melting through something to see what’s on the other side kind of negates the whole stealth advantage that x-ray vision is supposed to give you. I’d like you to imagine the previous examples of x-ray vision as if the x-ray vision worked by melting everything.

Yes, it changes those scenarios quite a bit. Jimmy’s face is melted, there is a super hero melee revealing Superman’s secret identity, and Batman will show up to see a man running around because his pants are on fire. The only constant is that Superman remains a lazy jerk. Other than that the panels just got a whole lot funnier.

And thus I end my scientific analysis of Superman’s x-ray vision. It can melt things, and turns Superman into a jerk. Best power ever.

-        Gonzo

As I stated yesterday , one of the most important things for me at my first comic convention is to take one of the women back to my Fortress of Solitude. Preferably one that looks like this:

Seeing as how women cannot resist a good pick-up line, I scoured the web for some good superhero related ones and decided to share some of them with you. Without further ado, let’s get to seducin’! (cover your children’s eyes, male genitalia referenced!)

1. Hulk not kidding. It so big, it rip clothes off.

This is a versatile line. It remains ambiguous enough that if a woman gets offended by you referencing your genitals you can tell her you meant you delts ripping off your shirt. Then call her a pervert and walk away. Or else she is intrigued and Hulk can smash.

2. You might as well take it off because I can see right through it.

Who hasn’t imagined using x-ray vision to check out that cute neighbor? I’m pretty sure that’s what Superman does all the time, he just doesn’t tell anybody.

3. I’m the only survivor of my planet’s destruction…want to save my race?

If you can convince a woman that sleeping with you is a humanitarian endeavor this way, I will be impressed. I usually just offer to donate money to their favorite charity if they come home with me.

4. If you come back to my place, I’ll show you my Man-Thing .

By the amount of genital referencing pick-up lines I’ve found, I am forced to conclude that women must love hearing about my package. Especially if it looks like a green swamp monster.

5. Want to see my rock hard Thing ?

Or maybe dry and pebbly is the way to go.

6. The ladies like to call me Mr. Fantastic . Care to find out why?

Is this another reference to genitals? Or simply prowess in the bedroom? Hopefully she will want to investigate.

7. I have a Catwoman outfit at home. Will you come home with me and try it on? Please?

Translation: “I am so lonely, please, please come to my parent’s basement with me!” Always works on those attractive women who prey on virgins, I see them all the time in movies.

8. My heat vision must be malfunctioning because you’re smokin’.

I can’t tell if this is a pick-up line or a death threat.

9. I’m the best at what I do and what I do is pretty women like you.

This pretty much clears up what Wolverine has always meant. Although why he says it in fights I don’t know, maybe attacking his opponents egos.  

10. Who’s watching the Watcher? No one cuz I’ll be banging you.

Very straightforward, this line takes some confidence. Not everybody is self assured enough to imply that they are the one who watches the Watcher. That and the whole “banging” reference might get you slapped.

Well that’s all the pick-up lines I have. If you find success or failure with these then I will be shocked that you used them. If you know any more superhero pick-up lines leave them in the comments.

Special thanks to Christian and Scott’s Interactive Top 10 List and Read Junk for the pick-up lines.

-        Gonzo

There is one thing that I feel every comic fan should do at some point and that is to attend a comic convention. I am ashamed to say that this is something I have not done myself yet, but only because the first 19 years of my life have been devoted to planning for such an event.

The first thing I have to get ready is an amazing costume. Comic conventions are full of people dressed as their favorite heroes, and some folks really go all out in their costume designs. Exhibit A:

Well I am not about to be outdone at my inaugural comic convention appearance so I plan on spending countless man hours and all my lunch money creating a perfect replica of an Iron Man costume. When I say perfect, I mean perfect. It will be complete with missile launchers and repulsor rays.

My plan is to fly over to the convention and make a dramatic entrance through the ceiling. Maybe foil a crime along the way. Hopefully my entrance is so dramatic that everybody is so focused on my costume they forget to bill me for the hole in the ceiling.

Phase 2 of my convention preparation is learning the art of seduction. I have seen pictures of conventions and damn if there isn’t always a woman dressed as the Black Cat. Meow.

I want to be prepared for any woman who isn’t immediately aroused by my Iron Man outfit so I will spend all the money I have left on books full of pick-up lines. I think the technological reference of “I wish you were DSL so I could get high speed access” coupled with my Iron Man outfit will make any woman putty in my hands.

Then I will be all set for a comic convention, I just have to choose a suitably large venue to make my debut. The only flaw in this plan is a lack of money left over for a ticket or to buy comics. I can’t risk tarnishing the image of Iron Man by breaking in and taking all the comics, tempting as it is. Oh well, back to the drawing board. I will get to a convention eventually.

-        Gonzo   

You know what I love about comics? That you can put some of the biggest stars in completely ridiculous settings and still have one hell of an entertaining story. It might not be the best story ever or the most critically acclaimed, but they are the ones you often remember and talk to your friends about. I will share with you some of the most ridiculous stories I have ever read that managed to find a place in my heart.

Captain America #395: The House That Dripped Dough

Just look at the title and you pretty much get the gist of what this issue is about. The house drips dough. But it is evil dough! That is eating Captain America ! And Thor is there! Everything is more exciting once you add a guest star. Things do not get more ridiculous than this, one of my all time favorite stories. I laugh every time I read it.

Detective Comics #320: Batman and Robin, the Mummy Crime-Fighters

What could drive the dynamic duo to go all Egyptian in the middle of Gotham City? The fun starts looking at Batman do his best Tut impression on the cover, and the story only gets more ridiculous as you read on. I don’t want to give too much away but this classic story involves aliens, space rays, crime-fighting mummies and some green folk. The perfect recipe for adventure!

Godzilla Vs. Barkley

Wow. It’s not the fact that Charles Barkley is in a comic with Godzilla that gets to me. It’s not the fact that Barkley grows to Godzilla-like proportions. It’s not even the fact that Barkley plays Godzilla in one on one basketball. It’s those shoes. Where the hell did Godzilla get those basketball shoes? This is too much for me; I have to take a break from the sheer awesomeness/ridiculousness of these comics. If you know of any other issues with ridiculous plots let me know in the comments.

-        Gonzo

Usually when you hear the term superhero you think of men in capes flying through the air, swinging from webs and shooting concussive blasts from their eyeballs. It turns out there are plenty of heroes to be found that save the day using a little bit of ingenuity, training, and elbow grease. Thus I present to you my favorite non-super powered heroes.

5. Black Panther

Alright for those of you arguing with this pick I realize it might be considered a stretch to put T’Challa on here since he sometimes uses herbs to make his senses keener, but this just puts him at the peak of human potential. He still doesn’t have the power to lift cars, heal bullet wounds or fly, he is just a very smart guy with years of martial arts and gymnastics training who fights with honor. Plus he married Storm, so he must be pretty cool.

4. Hawkeye

Hawkeye is a modern day Robin Hood, complete with goofy outfit. The Ultimates version of Hawkeye won me over; I haven’t followed other incarnations of him very closely. And the kid version of Hawkeye in Chris Giarrusso’s Mini Marvels is hilarious. That plus I think the whole being able to stop gun toting criminals with a freaking bow and arrow is pretty awesome as long as you aren’t named the Green Arrow.

3. Iron Man

Oh Tony Stark, you filthy rich womanizing hero you. One of the most suave and debonair heroes around, Tony Stark is always down for a good time. This is a man who said screw you to all those years of physical and martial arts training other heroes did, and just invented himself a suit of armor to do all the work. It really makes me wish I was a super genius. I’m just hoping he stops running S.H.I.E.L.D. soon and gets back to his roots of fast cars and fast women.

2. Punisher

Frank Castle is pretty much a scary scary man. Like Santa, he decides who is naughty or nice, but the Punisher gives out hot lead instead of coal. A highly trained Special Forces officer, this is not a man you want to mess with. Armed to the teeth, he has become a one man war on crime and won’t stop until he’s dead. This is the guy pretty much every member of the NRA wants to be.

1. Batman

What can I say about Batman that everybody doesn’t already know? He is the world’s greatest detective, strikes fear into the hearts of criminals, and has the coolest butler ever. It could even be argued this caped crusader has too much power . I guess what really puts him in front of the Punisher for me is that Batman went that route before in his early days, carrying a pistol with him when he went after bad guys. Batman decided that wasn’t enough of a punishment for lawbreakers so he decided to lose the gun and just break their thumbs instead.

-        Gonzo

I’ve always felt that I’ve been pretty passionate about my comics and the heroes within the pages, but I just saw a movie that changed my views. The movie was Confessions of a Superhero, a documentary following those people dressed up in costumes and asking for your money along Hollywood Boulevard. After watching this, mixed feelings are brought up. Are these people crazy? Desperate? Both?

Some of the people profiled are Christopher Dennis (Superman), Maxwell Allen (Batman), Joseph McQueen (Hulk), and Jennifer Wengen (Wonder Woman). Superman claims to have over a million dollars of Superman merchandise, sheds tears at the mention of Christopher Reeve’s passing, and enters costume contests. Batman claims to have killed numerous men during his time working for the mafia. The Hulk passes out in his foam costume. Wonder Woman looks hot. This is truly an epic film for a look at what drives these people to dress and act like heroes to get money from tourists.

This is actually a well thought out and enjoyable movie. If you want to see a real passion for comic heroes check these people and their created identities out here .

-        Gonzo

Today I am going to describe to you the glamorous and exciting creative process that I have gone through when writing my comic (which I am still doing) and why it has given me a newfound respect for comic writers everywhere. I will include pictures of random people expressing my emotions at different parts of this story to bring it to life. Now sit back and enjoy my tale.

The story begins with me sitting around watching TV as usual. I look up next to me at one of my friends and say “Hey, I think I’m gonna write a comic.” And then I started working on one. OK after typing that it doesn’t sound very glamorous or exciting.

I actually ended up pitching my idea to a studio and they liked the idea and asked me to work on it to get it to tie in to other projects they were working on.  Needless to say I was very excited at this point and set to work!

Well that fervor quickly turned into a realization that I had never written something as long or detailed as a comic script. For those of you who don’t know, the script contains descriptions of every panel describing characters and scenery and actions along with any actual dialogue. This style took quite a bit of work to get used to but eventually I had a completed script! That’s when I looked over it and realized it was terrible.

Despite this setback I am back in the proverbial comic riding saddle and starting my script from scratch with some major alterations. I am hoping it will be done soon to grace the world with awesomeness, but I won’t let it see light until I am happy with it. This brings me to the other writers out there who are able to produce comic scripts on a consistent basis. It really is a lot harder than it seems to produce a quality comic, even if it is only 20 or so pages. I am much more grateful now for the great storylines we’ve had in comics, and less critical of some stories that fell short. Go out and show your favorite author a little appreciation today and buy something they worked on. I know for a fact they put a lot into it. I don’t know what emotion to use to conclude this so I will put a picture of a puppy dressed as Batman. Yay!

-        Gonzo

Now that I’m done being distracted by the Marvel character creator I can move on to my originally intended post about Chris Giarrusso and his amazing comic strip Mini Marvels. These strips could be found nestled in the pages of various Marvel comics as bullpen bits and were always enjoyable. There’s just something adorable about a pint-sized version of the Hulk.

The Mini Marvels series covers everything from Peanuts parodies to outright nonsensical adventures. A large amount of comic jokes are of course also included. If you are looking for some time to kill I suggest you check out http://www.chrisgcomics.com/ where you can see 7 year old Spider-Man deliver papers or Widdle Wolverine argue calls from an umpire. Mini Marvels are always good for a laugh, plus who can resist miniature heroes? Much like puppies on a streaming webcam, these comics will keep you entertained for hours. If you need more check out his books for full length stories featuring the adorable Avengers and more!

As an aside, I am thinking about running a contest of some sort to promote X-Ray Vision. After being around for a month I figure it’s about time we started getting the name out there so if you have any suggestions drop a note in the comments. I’d like to get t-shirts made as prizes, mainly because I have an unhealthy addiction to shirts. And comics. And comic themed shirts.

-        Gonzo