X-Ray Vision

I finally got around to seeing Watchmen the other day. I have to say I didn’t really know what to expect. I heard that there was a lot of controversy over the movie, especially from fans of the original graphic novel. The fans were glad it stayed true to the novel, while others said this made it move too slowly.

Well, I never read the graphic novel, so I didn’t really give a turd if it was a panel by panel interpretation. I just wanted a movie that was entertaining, and I wasn’t disappointed. Rorschach reminded me of a crazy(er) Batman, the Comedian was a great character, and Malin Ackerman was gorgeous as the Silk Spectre.

Plus it has Malin Ackerman boobies, just like in Harold and Kumar Got to White Castle! Yeah, she’s the wife of the guy with boils all over his neck who takes her shirt off. So basically any movie with her taking her shirt off goes into my favorites.

Now let’s get back to the movie. I really liked the plot, and it wasn’t just some beat-em-up type film. Some parts did move along slowly, but at no point was I ever bored. Whether you’ve read the graphic novel or not, this is an enjoyable movie with more of a thinking man’s plot than most comic films. And the rumors are true; there is a blue guy whose penis is exposed. It is also blue. Stop giggling.

-        Gonzo

I’ve read a couple Jonah Hex comics in my day, and I’ve always found them to be good stories. That, plus the name is so much better than “The Rawhide Kid”. I can’t wait to see the big screen adaptation of Jonah Hex. Oh yeah, in case I didn’t mention, they’re turning this into a movie.

Oh, bonus news! As pointed out over at What Would Batman Do , Megan Fox will be in this movie. Yes, she does keep getting hotter and hotter to nerds like me as she attends comic conventions and plays guitar hero. She is basically the perfect woman.

But anyways, back to the movie. I expect this to be a gritty western, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see an R rating stamped on it. Jonah Hex does like to shoot people a lot. And his face is all melted. Not for the kiddies.

-        Gonzo

It looks like I’m going to be a super hero in the near future. Of course I’m not desperate enough to find radioactive insects to bit me or anything, but technology seems to be providing me with everything I need.

You might remember hearing about a robotic exoskeleton created by Japan’s Cyberdyne, Inc. Yes, I too have noticed that Cyberdyne is the company from the Terminator movies, which is why I remained distrustful of their robotic suits. Still, a robotic exoskeleton that vastly increases my strength could come in handy for thwarting criminals. It was only missing one thing: it couldn’t fly. Iron Man still has me outdone at this point.

The jetpack was still a thing of the future, until now, the future! Actually the future was 2006, but still. Yves Rossy of Switzerland created a jetpack, and to test it out he decided to just jump out of a plane. It seems like I might have some competition on the super cool hero front.

All the pieces are not quite in place yet. Now I am just waiting for small weapons and laser cannons that can be connected to my suit and I will then be ready to fight crime. I just hope the criminals don’t have the same idea I do.

-        Gonzo

Do you know what the most adorable thing in this world is? Dogs dressed as superheroes. That is why today I have spent hours scouring the internet for the best examples of animals that will save your life and make you say “awwww” at the same time.

 It looks like the Dynamic Duo are taking a Bat-break in the Bat-living Room

Only a kryptonite leash could hold Superdog. But that would be animal abuse.

Doggy Wonder Woman makes all the other Super-Dogs drool/slobber.

                              Spider-Dog’s spider sense is tingling!

And to think that all these fluffy, cuddly, heroes were inspired by a mere shoeshine boy.

That’s all the adorableness I can handle for now. Thanks to caninepics.com for pictures!

-                  Gonzo

I don’t know if any of you have realized this yet, but I’m kind of a nerd. As such, I have of course followed the tabletop war games such as Warhammer and Warhammer 40K. I think I have ended up liking the branch off products of those games more than the games themselves, such as the books and especially the comics.

The Tale of Malus Darkblade is a great comic series following a particularly vicious dark elf. Dan Abnett wrote this series, which is probably what makes it so enjoyable. Abnett is one of my favorite writers around for when I just want something fun to read, whether it is a comic or a novel.

Another great series is Blood and Thunder by Boom Studios. This follows an ork invasion on an imperial world, and is quite violent at times. The best part however is the relationship between a particularly dumb ork and an imperial guardsman he mistakes for a squig (a little pet the orks keep). This provides some much needed comic relief.

Finally, the dark and gritty Space Wolves comic gives a nice look into the life of a space marine. They are ruthless, efficient, and above all loyal killing machines. Plus it is also written by Dan Abnett.

These are just a few of the enjoyable comics I have found from the Warhammer and Warhammer 40K universe, so if you like either of those games, or the sci-fi or fantasy genre, I suggest you check these out.

-        Gonzo

The new animated Wonder Woman is an entertaining movie. This is a plot driven movie and I have to say I was actually quite impressed.

The story involves quite a bit of mythology, what with the defeat of Ares the god of war by the Amazons and his subsequent imprisonment upon their island of Themyscira. Of course Princess Diana AKA Wonder Woman doesn’t want to do guard duty and she would much rather travel to America. This leads to Ares putting his long awaited plan of escape into action. Shenanigans ensue.

The animation is reminiscent of Justice League, good but not great, and the voice acting is pretty good. If you have some free time and are a Wonder Woman fan, I’d recommend checking this out.

-        Gonzo

I realize that Superman Returns came out a few years back, but I watched it last night so I’m gonna write about it. Superman is a long and storied franchise and Christopher Reeve became as much of an icon as the hero he played in movies. Unfortunately the movies stopped with Christopher until fairly recently.

I am not a big fan of the casting in this movie, especially Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane. She just doesn’t feel right, more bitchy and whiny than sassy and spunky. Brandon Routh was a decent Superman, unfortunately he had big shoes to fill and couldn’t quite do it. Not really a surprise there. I always love Kevin Spacey’s roles, but his Lex Luthor just didn’t mesh with the comic book interpretation of the character. The story was alright, nothing spectacular, but I stayed for the whole thing. It is a great background noise movie.

One of the things that this movie has going for it is that it took James Marsden and made him about 20 times manlier than he is as Cyclops in the X-Men movies. Cyclops pisses me off.

-        Gonzo

The first Punisher movie was amazing, I absolutely loved it. Thomas Jane did a great job as the Punisher and was a complete badass. When I heard the second movie had a different lead actor I was skeptical about the quality. Fortunately Ray Stevenson was a perfect fit and this became one of my new favorite Marvel movies.

This movie is full of gun fights, fist fights, and a man being crushed in broken bottle receptacle of some sort. The body count is high, as it should be in anything the Punisher does, including mini golf. The inclusion of Jigsaw just made this movie that much better. Whenever there is a character introduced that is more insane than the Punisher himself it is a recipe for success.

If you are a fan of the Punisher or violent movies in general then you should check out Punisher: War Zone . Maybe you can even see the softer side of Frank Castle if you’re into emotions and stuff.

-        Gonzo

It seems that since the Dark Knight came out Batman could do no wrong. Then I saw Batman: The Brave and the Bold. I know this show is geared towards a younger audience, but I’ll be damned if I let anyone watch such a sissified version of the Caped Crusader.

I don’t enjoy the formulaic story lines, or the weak dialogue, or the fact that Bruce Wayne is never shown. Give the audience some contrast, sheesh. Worst of all, Batman is forced to team up with a bunch of lesser DC characters like Jonah Hex and Etrigan. While this would be awesome in a show where they were allowed to be their badass selves, this show just has everybody sit around and play patty cake.

Overall, this show is a complete failure. It needs some decent guest stars, not Aquaman. 0 batarangs out of 5. I have to go wash my eyeballs after watching this.

-        Gonzo   

Today’s featured movie is Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron. This was a fun movie, mainly because the voice actors were the same people in the live action Hellboy movies. Ron Perlman and Selma Blair fit their roles perfectly.

The animation is pretty good, although the fact that Hellboy’s legs look like toothpicks has always bothered me a little bit. This is just a personal complaint though (I have it with the comics as well), and it really doesn’t detract from the viewing experience. The animation stays true to the comics as all fans will tell you is a good thing, and the story is a good one.

If you want to see ghosts, vampires, and harpies all get their butts handed to them, check out this movie. The action sequences won’t disappoint.

-        Gonzo