X-Ray Vision

I think one of the main things that draws pretty much everybody into comics is the artwork. There is such a wide range of styles, from goofy to extra realistic, that there is something to be found for everyone. That is one of the reasons why I like real artistic looks into comic characters.

One of the coolest things I’ve seen in a while is a series of drawings over at Abduzeedo. This guy by the name of Enymy has taken a Marvel character for each letter of the alphabet and done some really great drawings. I especially like the Captain America and Punisher drawings. There’s really not much I can say about these except that they are fantastic. I think it would be better to let the drawings speak for themselves, so hurry up and check them out.

With many comic book characters there is a lot of debate about which actors and actresses would best portray them on the big screen. Some are hits, such as Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. Some are big misses, like Jessica Alba as Sue Storm. I love you Jessica Alba, that just wasn’t a good role for you. One thing that is pretty common is a lot of debate about who would best portray various characters. I believe I have found one match that cannot be argued. Brittany Murphy is Dr. Harleen Quinzel AKA Harley Quinn.

First off, Brittany Murphy definitely has the look. She is attractive, thin, and has a face that would still look good in Harley Quinn’s face paint. There are many actresses who have similar looks, what sets Brittany Murphy apart? The voice. I think her voice would fit a live action Harley Quinn perfectly. Now the only question is when would we ever see a live action Harley Quinn? I would love to see her as a cameo in the next Batman movie, distraught over the death of Mr. J. In an attempt to avenge the Joker she would attack Batman and be put down quickly. That would leave me satisfied.

Who better to write about on April Fool’s Day than that perilous and persistent prankster, the Joker? Let us now look over some of the gags he has pulled, and hope that no one we know tries to imitate them.

The Joker’s first dastardly plot was poisoning Gotham’s water supply. As far as pranks go, this one is pretty ambitious considering the scale. Joker seems to live by the motto “go big or go home”. I don’t recommend anybody trying to pollute large reservoirs, but perhaps mixing some chili powder into your roommate’s tomato juice would be an appropriate tribute to the Joker’s first attempted crime.

In the cinematic masterpiece known as The Dark Knight, Joker puts bombs on two boats and gives each boat a trigger for the other one. Thus a deadly stand-off occurs where each boat can decide the fate of the other. If neither boat blows up the other they are both safe, or if one destroys the other first it is safe. Thus the Joker creates a deadly psychological experiment. That’s a pretty good prank if you ask me. I suggest starting a war between two friends, but replace bombs with banana cream pies or an equally entertaining non-lethal substitute.

Well I don’t want to give anybody I know too many ideas that can be used against me. I hope you all are able to prank others better than they are able to prank you.

-        Gonzo

What is cooler than a person with superpowers? A monkey, or technically an ape, with superpowers. I am of course talking about the one and only Gorilla Grodd. While new comics are showing up with monkey versions of superheroes and villains (more on that later) there is only one original.

Grodd was introduced in Flash #106 when an alien gave super intelligence to a group of gorillas. Grodd happened to also get the powers of mind control, telekinesis, and evil. Thus when the gorillas created Gorilla City (they are smart, not creative) Grodd decided that he should take over.

Inevitably, Flash came in to save the day and a great rivalry was born. Since then Grodd has devoted his life to taking out mankind. Grodd is a true inspiration for all simian serial criminals. You just can’t beat the original ape villain, the only way he could be better is if he had a feces flinging attack.

-        Gonzo

Today I decided to show the often berated redheads of the world (I’m looking at you Kevin) some love. I’m just a nice guy like that. So I have compiled a list (in no particular order) of some of the most famous redheads in comic books. Sit back and enjoy the show.

10. Poison Ivy

Oh Pamela Isley, you are one vivacious redhead. One of Batman’s most famous villains and arguably the best seductress in comic book history, Poison Ivy definitely deserves to be on this list.

9. The Black Widow

The Black Widow AKA Natalia Romanova AKA Natasha Romanoff is a Russian spy extraordinaire. She has one fiery attitude and manages to keep up with members of the Avengers despite her lack of any real super powers. She is just highly trained and highly lethal.

8. Carnage

Everybody pictures Venom as a mentally unstable villain, but Cletus Kasady took it to a whole other level. Cletus was insane before he bonded with the symbiote, and after getting all that new power he set out on a rampage. This is definitely one of the toughest villains Spider-Man has ever tangled with.

7. Daredevil

Matt Murdock is a lawyer by day and crime fighter by night. And he’s blind. It takes a pretty impressive guy to pull this off. Be proud red heads of the world, another badass is added to your ranks.

6. Medusa

Of course the person who uses their actual hair as a weapon is red head. Plus she would make a great hair model, no stylists necessary.

5. Jimmy Olsen

Superman’s pal has had more adventures than most in comic books. Throughout the years he has foiled assassination plots, rescued damsels in distress, and had almost as many powers as Superman (at least temporarily). Not bad for a newspaper photographer.

4. The Flash

Wally West is the Fastest Man Alive, sharing his record with redheads everywhere. He was also the first Kid Flash, showing that with a little work, luck, and Speed Force, you too can become an iconic superhero someday.

3. Batwoman

Not only is Batwoman a redhead but also a lesbian. Oh, and she fights crime or something. This is possibly DC’s best attempt at making a hero with public relations as their super power.

2. Jean Grey

Quite possibly the most powerful mutant alive, this one lady you don’t want to mess with. Yet she is often the vocal conscience of the X-Men, except for those times when she turns into the Phoenix and tries to destroy everything. If only she could get over that whole dying thing she would be the complete package.

1. Mary Jane Watson

Spider-Man’s former wife (damn you One More Day storyline) has become an icon in comic books. She is the poster girl for drop dead gorgeous redheads and it’s not hard to see why. Her feisty attitude and great hair have found her a place in every comic fan’s heart.

And there you have it; redheads have made quite an impact on comics. And I have done my good deed for the day.

-        Gonzo

As I sit here surrounded by dozens of flowers, chocolates, and action figures sent by admirers, I am inspired to write a romantically themed post in honor of Valentine’s Day. With that I introduce a quandary involving two of the most seductive women in comic book history: Poison Ivy and the Enchantress. Who would you rather go on a Valentine’s date with?

If you chose Poison Ivy make sure that if you bring her any flowers they’re still in the pot. Pluck any of her plant pals and that date is liable to turn ugly real fast. A date with the Enchantress however means that you are a consolation prize for her unless your name happens to be Thor. Is it worth playing second fiddle for a night out with this charmer?

Both of them can cloud your mind with a single kiss, and neither of them is above a little manipulation. The Enchantress also has magic on her side to further sway your thoughts towards purchasing expensive jewelry. With either of these ladies prepare to wake up broke or in jail with little recollection of the night before. Just like college! On the plus side, both make great arm candy, and who knows, maybe you’re the one to turn them away from their life of crime. Which green seductress would you choose? Leave a note in the comments on your favorite lady, and happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

-        Gonzo

While Deadpool is my favorite hero in comic books, Venom is my favorite villain. He has it all, great powers, great back story, and a propensity for eating brains. That, my friends, is a recipe for success.

Venom is basically Spider-Man on steroids. Super strong, fast, and agile, Venom has frequently given our favorite Web-Head a run for his money. The thing that I like about Venom is his unique sense of justice. At one point he began taking out criminals who threatened those under his protection, almost losing his villain status. Fortunately he wasn’t above a little spine breaking and brain gobbling to keep the peace and thus kept his bad guy image.

Basically the point I’m trying to get across here is that Venom is just as likely to save your life as he is to punch a hole in your chest. This unpredictability is what makes him so fun, so go find yourself a nice copy of a comic featuring Venom and be prepared for awesomeness. Yes, awesomeness is a real word.

-        Gonzo